New Team…

After a long deliberation.. natuloy din ang reshuffle.. right now nasa ibang team na ko.. New TL, new team mates.. big adjustments..
So may doubts right now, should we have a good working relationship with my new TL, can I mingle with my new team mates..
Last monday, i really feel so depressed thinking that it was the first day with this new team, andaming fears, baka ndi ko maprove ang sarili ko, mananatili pa bang maging No.1 ako ng team..
At the last minute naisip ko din na, nothing to be scared of, as long as you know that you can make it, and you are confident on what you are doing, nothing to be scared of. Lalo na pag iisip9in mo na GOD let it happen, beacause it will be better for you.. thats the GUTS…

Nice to be back…

Ang tagal na pala ng huling blog ko. Masyado akong naging busy sa aking work at wala kong kwentang lovelife. Hays andami kong namiss sa blogging world. Sobra kong namiss ang mga blogs ni Mama Maru, ni Ms Kengkay at iba pa. Masyado naging masalimuot ang aking lovelife this past few months. Walang pagbabago, hanggang ngaun si Bhe pa din ang mahal ko. Sabihin Na nilang napakatanga ko pero andito pa din ako, still hoping na mamahalin nya din ako….

Old same stories, pero puso ang matinding kalaban ng life ko.. Hays…
Till m next blog..

One Last Cry..

An open letter for Bhe…

Bhe,
I gave you all my love, but it is not my assurance that you can love me back… Maybe you are not meant to be in my life.. no matter how much I wanted them to be… You hug me goodbye.. like its nothing, while all I want to do is to hold on forever..I used to smile when I told to all your friends, that you were mine.. but now, I can’t even smile and say your name at the same time… As much as I love you I have to say goodbye.. coz I know that you would be happier If I will let you go…..

Missing you is not the hardest thing to do, but knowing I once had you is really breaking my heart.. I’ll never forget the times we once shared… And I’ll always remember how much you once cared.. now it’s over.. time to move on…It’s never easy to see you turning back, but I have to take the pain…and cry all the days and nights of my life..cause I know it will never be the same again..I know that when you leave that day, I will never see you again..Eventhough you hurt me so much, it cant change the feelings in my heart..

If there will come a time that you will see me again, just turn your head, and I will understand… I know that one day, I will be able to look in your eyes, without feeling the pain that you’ve caused me… I hope in time, I will be happy and I can call your name once again.. Happiness is too far for me now… even if its near, I know it will be hard for me to get there..

You really hurt me so much, as of now i cannot give you forgiveness, but i know after healing all the wounds, we can forget all the pains.. Hope that you made the right decision, the only consolation that I have is knowing that you will find your true happiness with her…

I still love you, but I have to say GOODBYE….

First lunch in Puerto…

After namin makarating ng galera, start na kami rampa.. 1st thing to do is to look for a place na makakainan namin.. Nakita namin ang place na ito sa may tabing shore lang isang Ihaw-ihaw…

Hay naku sobra ng busog so kailangan ng mag start ng rampa…

Sa kakarampa namin, may mga nakilala kaming mga turistang koreano.. at ito ang isa sa knila

At dito din kami nag re unite ng ex kong si Kyle… Bwahahahaha ( magseselos nyan si Belt) waheheheh…

Kailangan ng bumalik ng hotel para makapagpahinga ng konti.. at may lakas para sa unang gabi namin sa Galera….

Puerto Galera….

Last Feb 07, nag celebrate kami ng birthdey ni Ramil sa Puerto Galera.. Nagpakasosyal ang friendship ko na ito at ang gusto nya talaga ay mag get away kami sa galera here are some of our pics…

our way to galera.. bangka bangkaan ang drama, mejo ndi maganda ang panahon kaya medyo maalon.. super hilo talaga kami dahil wala pa kaming tulog dahil lahat kami ay galing sa aming shift…

After 1 hour na byahe sa bangka, nakarating din kami sa galera.. Kahit super antuk at sobra ng pagod, nakaka excite pa din ang ambiance ng place…

Ito ang hotel na tinuluyan namin.. sa 2nd flr.. ok na para sa aming lima.. may hot and cold shower,naka aircon at may maliit na TV…

Hindi na namin ininda ang antuk at pagod, kailangan rumampa na kami agad at ng makahanap ng makakainan..

Sa next post na lang ulit ang istorya para sa unang lunch namin sa galera… heheheh

Friday the 13th…

May kasabihan tau na pag pumatak daw ang 13 ng biernes, siguradong may kamalasan na darating… Isang malaking unos ang ngyari sa buhay ko. Nag desisyun ako ngaung araw na ito na tuluyan ng makipag break kay Bhe… Nag move out na ako sa aming love nest… Valentines day pa naman bukas huhuhu..

Pero alam ko na makakabuti para sa aming dalawa ang naging desisyon ko na ito. Sobrang sakit, pero hindi na healthy ang relationship, halos araw araw na kami nag aaway. Bakit nga ba kami nag aaway? Iisa lang ang dahilan at ito un…

June of 2007 nakilala ko si Bhe thru common friend, that tym I still have a BF in US. At sya naman ay engaged for his 5 year GF that tym. Nakalimot ng isang gabi, at nag kasundo na magkaroon ng relationship without commitment. Isang laro ng pagmamahal na nauwi sa seryosohan, simula pa lang alam ko na sobrang mahal nya si GF, wala naman ako talagang balak na agawin o sirain ang relasyon nila. Nagdecide lang ako na mahalin na sya ng tuluyan ng kinwentu nya sa akin ang tunay na estado ng relasyun nila ni GF, 5 years nga ang relationship nila pero never pa silang nagkita dahil nagkarelayun lang sila dahil sa txt at tawag lang, May of 2007 pinilit nyang makarating Laoag, dahil ito ang sinasabi ng gurl na address nya at saan ka nakakita ng GF na pumunta na lahat lahat ang BF mo sa malayo mong probinsya at sasabihin mo lang na YOU HATE SURPRISES.. what the heck… nagbyahe sya ng subrang layo at hindi mo ituturo ang tunay mong address at sana man lang ay nakipagkita ka man lang. After kong malaman ang lahat ng yun, alam ko na niloloko lang ni GF si BF…

Ilang beses kami naghiwalay ni Bhe, pero ako din ang sumusuko.. Pinilit kong iwork out ang relationship, pero napakarami ding instance na talagang mahal nya si GF, nagpakatanga ako ng 2 years hoping na makakalimutan nya si GF at matatauhan cya. Ginawa ko ang laahat para sa akin mabaling ang pagmamahal nya, pero bigo pa din ako.. Sabi nga ng mga friend ko ako ay isang babaeng bakla, halos binili ko ang buo nyang pagkatao, pero talo lang ako.. Hindi nya talaga kayang kalimutan si GF, napakaswerteng babae. At ipinagtapat nya din sa akin na hanggang ngaun ay magkatxt pa din sila at kahit daw tumanda na sya hihintayin nya pa din ang araw na magkakasama sila ni GF. Sobra na akong talo.

Kulang ang isang blog para masabi ko ang lahat ng sinakripisyo ko para sa kanya.. Kinalimutan ko ang sarili kong buhay para sa knya, nawala ang mga kaibigan ko ng dahil sa knya.. Mas nauna pa akong natauhan, sabi nga ng cousin ko “all you need is a time for yourself at iisa lang ang pwede mong itanong MASAYA KA PA BA?”.. Pinag isipan ko ang desisyon ko na ito ng halos tatlong buwan, sobra kong mahal si Bhe.. Pero pwede mo palang mahal ang isang tao pero hindi ka na masaya.. Siguro kakayanin ko na lang ang isang sakit kesa nasasaktan ako ng araw araw.. Mahirap pilitin ang isang tao kung hindi ka nya kaya talagang mahalin.

Friday the 13th, isang araw na hindi ko makakalimutan , it is the worst day of my life but still expecting that I can move forward.. Start new life.. Try to be happy, and try put the shattered pieces of your life into a better life.. All i need right now is time to love myself again and bring back the love of my true friendships…

When, what and how?

I saw this tags at kengkays blogs.. Parang gusto ko din sagutin ang mga questions na ito?

1. When was your first kiss and where?

May 25, 1992, sa harap ng store ng Mama ko… Oh di ba, remember ko pa rin sya, hindi ko malilimutan ang araw na un.. 16 years old ako that tym, at pang 2nd Bf ko ang may sala hehehehehe..

2. When was your first real relationship and how long did it last?

Sa 2nd Bf ko din, at tumagal ang relationship namin ng more than a year din..

3. What age were you allowed to date?

Actually, hindi mahigpit ang mother ko pagdating sa dates, may tiwala namn sya sa akin, pero ang talagang date ko un ding 2nd Bf ko. So 16 years old ako nun..

4.What’s the craziest thing you did (for love) when you were a teenager?

Sobrang dami.. Dahil lukaret na ako talaga sa pag ibig kahit nuong teenager pa lang ako. pero ang craziest siguro ay ang ayain ko ang 2nd Bf ko na magtanan kami, at hintayin ko sya sa highway ng until 2am, pero hindi nya ako sinipot, (buti na lang hehehhe)

5. How long is your longest relationship and what’s the secret?

Sa taong pinakasalan ko, before kami nagpakasal 3 years muna kami naging mag Bf, at tumagal ang relationship ng 11 years.. Ang secret sandamakmak na pasensya at pang unawa, pero mauuntog ka din pala.. waheheheh

6. How long did you date before you start to settle down?
Sabi ko nga 3 years din, then nag settle down na, kasi nabuntis eh.. hehehheh

7. How long did you know he was the ONE?

Nuong nabuntis na nya ako, waheheheh

8. Now at what age will you allow your kid(s) to date?

As of now, my daughter is already 11 years old, never akong naghihigpit sa kanya, I am trying to open my lines with her, para anything under the sun, ay pwede nyang ikwento sa akin, gusto ko andito lang ako lagi to advise her, madalas kong sabihin sa anak ko, its ok na maranasan nya ang pain, for her to be much stronger. Pero masyado pang maaga, 11 pa lang ang anak ko ( niyerbiyos din pla ako, heheheh)

9. When it comes to your kids dating, will you be a cool parent or a strict parent?

Magiging sobrang cool, kasi I want my kids to experience, normal and happy life ( which I did not experience when in Im still teenager)

10. What piece of advice can you give to your child when they start dating?

Know the limitations.. have more fun, but think twice in everything they do…

Naenjoy ko ang mga questions, namiss ko pala ang question and answer portion. wahehhehe..

Do Something Meaningful…

This past few weeks, subra akong tamad na mag blog, nakaharap lang ako sa computer ko, alam ko gusto ko mag type ng blog pero walang pumasuk na idea sa isip ko, para yatang nilulumot na ang huling post ko… So ang ginagawa ko lang these past few weeks ay mag browse ng ibat ibang blogs, hanggang maalala ko ang isang book na nabasa ko ” Time off for Good Behaviour ” by Dianne Laine Rich, ang sabi ng Bida sa Novel na si Wanda, “do something meaningful”…

How can I do something meaningful?… Should I give to charity bah? Kailangan bang lahat ng pulubi na makikikita ko ay bibigyan ko ng limos? I think, ndi pa rin yun ang “do something meaningful”…

i know that I can only do something meaningful, if i will touch somebody’s life or maybe I will be the reason for somebody’s decision making, Maybe i already did something meaningful, without noticing it, in my line of work, I am talking to a lot of people everyday, maybe if i will be so nice even though they are so irate, And I can give them a quality customer service, maybe i will do something meaningful, not only for our customers but also for myself, Because I am worthy for my job..

Let us do something meaningful, by giving dignity to ourself and be considerate with others.

2009 Resolution…..

I am not used of having new years resolution, because i know for a fact that if you have list of resolutions, it is too much pressure on your part, and I hate pressures, but this year I will try to have lists of my resolutions just for a change and my resolutions are as follows…

1. Quit smoking… it is the hardest resolution that i have… My breaks in the office is not complete without smoking… I cannot go to the bathroom without Marlboro in my hand but I am not getting any younger so i have to think of my health..

2. Diet.. I really gained weight by the last quarter of 2008…

3. No soda for 2009…. I cannot eat without soda.. for 2008 its more soda, and less water and i will make it more water but no soda at all for 2009.

4. Be more focus on my work…. no more unreasonable absences and no more lates… (hirap…)

5. Time for my kids… give them more attention this year… I have to balance their situation before my own…

6. Start to have Savings… In 2008 I can award myself as the Most Gastadora of the Year… No more unpractical stuff.. No more eating on fastfoods… be more practical this year..

7. Balance my lovelife… it is not matter of giving it will be a matter of the things you shared together.. if the relationship will not work this year its time for me to move out..

8. Love myself more… think myself first before others..

9. Be more appreciative… I should count my blessings this year, not my sacrifices and have time to thank the LORD for all the things i have right now…

These are the resolutions that comes in my mind, when I thought of having my resolution this year.. Hope that I can do it.. New year, New beginnings for me…

Pahiyas Island

Last Nov. 29, na invite ako ng mga ka opis mate ko na mag out of town sa Pahiyas Island sa Laiya, Batangas City, to celebrate the birthday of Juris, Muy, Ron, Rye and Ernie.. Sobrang layo ang byahe, umalis kami ng Makati ng 1pm nakarating na akmi Laiya ng 5pm, subrang pagod pero sulit ang byahe….

Pag dating pa lang namin sa place puntahan na talaga sa tabing dagat, grabe ang ganda ng place subra talagang nakakarelax, at last medyo nakakagaan ng pakiramdam dahil sa subrang stress sa work, at nagkataon na sunset na kaya enjoy namin talaga ang pa pics.. hehheheh

Hay naku, sana mag karoon ulit kami ng time na maulit uli ang bonding moments naito at kalimutan mo an namin ang pagbenta ng Car Parts at kalimutan muna ang mga irate na customers.. Sa lahat ng nag birthday ng araw na un, isang Happy Birthday at Thank u sa moment.. hehehehh